Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Terrible [Early] Twos and Mommy Guilt

Yesterday was a tough day. On Mondays, I have Emma and Kate at home with me AND I actually try to do work. I know, crazy. Well, it certainly makes for a high stress day. Yesterday was one of those.

Emma has most definitely developed a strong will. I say "no, Emma, don't do x, y, or z." She looks at me straight in the eyes and continues to do it. I say "Emma, give me your plate so I can wash it." She grabs even harder onto the plate and then has a temper tantrum when I take it away. I know, she's a typical almost 2 year old. But that doesn't make it any easier to deal with.

I admit, I lose my patience in grand fashion. Yesterday, I felt like I was screaming at her all day. And then I feel guilty and try to explain to her why mommy gets so upset and how it could so easily be solved if she'd just listen to me. I get a "yes, mommy" in return. I calm down. And then 3 minutes later, I lose it again when she starts doing the exact same thing. The endless cycle!

Ugh! I think part of it is picking my battles. I tell her not to do something...she continues to do it...and then I feel like, in order to be consistent, I have to follow through and make her not do it anymore (even if it is something I guess really isn't that big of a deal). If I just didn't get in so deep on everything to start with, I think we'd both be happier. I wouldn't feel like a nasty hag screaming all the time and she wouldn't feel like mommy was always upset with her.

Any suggestions?


  1. Oh my, I could have written thist post about my daughter, who is only 19 months, but this HAS to be the terrible twos. I don't have suggestions, but I hope someone reading this does and I plan to check back cause I'm desparate!

    If nothing else, just know you're not alone. I spend my days telling S know. I feel bad, but I also want to be consistent. I feel like I need to pick/choose my battles, but I also need to set boundaries, and most days, I feel like I am failing miserably. Please tell me this will pass soon!

  2. we went louise's 2 year appt today and he suggested that now is a good time to start time out. he recommended a book/video called 1-2-3 magic, the last name of the author is phelan. maybe it would be helpful?

  3. Hi there,
    I think this age is pretty trying. I know I struggle with our daughter and her strong will. Hopefully it will pass in time!
    I can't imagine how you try to work while you're at home with the girls. It must be so hard. You're doing a great job.

  4. Ditto 1-2-3 Magic - have just read it and want to start using it myself.