Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Being a martyr

I find myself, on a regular basis, being the martyr in the household. Weird, huh? Let me explain.

Example, husband offers to help me with something...I say, "no, I can do it" even though I would actually love some help. Why do I do this? It most certainly is not a positive thing because it only puts me in a bad mood and thinking "I do everything around the house." Do I want hubby to force me to let him help with something? Maybe. I guess I don't know what I want. I think part of it stems from my own independence, thinking I can do everything (or wanting to do it because I want it done my way).

Anyone else ever do the same thing or am I just a weirdo?

Recently I've been thinking a lot about some of my personality characteristics that I don't particularly like. This is just one of them. Perhaps some warm spring weather will put me in a better mood!


  1. you're not a weirdo, i do the same thing, because, what's the point of having someone else do something if you're just going to have to redo it yourself anyway, right?

  2. Oh my, do I relate! Sometimes I feel like I'm doing everything in the household. I then bring it up to my husband, and he asks why I don't ask for help. Umm. . . should I have to? Look around. See what needs to be done, and do it! Then when he does ask if he can help, I say no. Yeah, we do we put so much on ourselves? Oh yeah, I know why. I've discovered through parenting that apparently I'm OCD and need to do everything myself cause only I do things correctly. This has been a hard lesson to learn. :)

  3. I just let DH do everything in the household :) He thinks he does things better, so I just let him do it. I cook, but he generally washes up (even when he cooks). He does laundry, hates it when I load the dishwasher, and does snow shoveling. I look after K a little more than he does and cook more. He does all the grocery shopping.
    I think I'm really a slacker in the house! (And our nanny does most of the housework/cleaning).
    Hope you can start letting DH do more!

  4. One of the best pieces of advice regarding this issue I've seen is: figure out what you REALLY care about having done your way and then be willing to hand over the process for the other things (provided that the end result is the same or similar).

    Personally though, I think one of the hardest things is separating your investment in the process from the final result.

    Good luck!

  5. Oh my goodness, I do the EXACT same thing! You are definitely not alone. :-)